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YES I THREW IT By Lucy Penumbra

I don’t know why I got so annoyed with her. I just did. Yes, I did throw the pencil, but I really don’t think I told her to go fuck herself.

Maybe it was that fight with my Mom this morning when I was late, and the stupid blasted lace on my cordoba red Doc Martens broke, after I’d just spent like 10 minutes lacing them, so I had to knot the little section back on so I could tie them, and then I was even later. She knows I hate eating breakfast anyway, so I don’t know why she kept hurrying me, but when I couldn’t eat the oatmeal because I was too late, and then actually I would have liked to eat the oatmeal because I was hungry, well, then we started screaming at each other, and then we didn’t say a word in the car the whole way here.

Then when I got here I went in the bathroom on the 3rd floor, and that’s when I realized my hair was poking up on one side in the back, like I had obviously slept on it wet, which I had, but I’d forgotten to smooth it down because of the Doc Martens. So I tried patting it down with some water, but it wasn’t having much effect, and some seventh grader who looked like she was about eight kept staring at me while she was washing her hands. Really, now I had like two minutes to get to class, so I kept trying, and trying to hurry, and finally I just cupped as much water as I could in my hand and scooped it onto the spot. But of course, then half of it swooshed down on my shoulders and got my shirt wet with a big stupid looking spot, but I didn’t have time to dry it. I got to class just as Mr. Halfitz was closing the door, and he gave one of his sarcastic sighs.

He put me in a group with Sara Newman and Renna Velasquez, of all people, to work on our molar weights charts, and wouldn’t you know it, the first thing Sara said was, “Geez, what, you wet yourself, Lizzie?” and laughed her hater laugh and grinned her fake way at Renna. I tried to ignore it, but I seriously don’t like that girl, so I wasn’t exactly engaging in the activity. Next thing I know, Sara and Renna are whispering to each other—I mean, I’m right there, for christ’s sake– and then Sara nodded at Renna and elbowed her and Renna put her hand up and asked, with that fake politeness, “Mr. Halfitz, so what happens if not all of the group members are putting in their share of the work?” but fortunately Halfitz is kinda on to them, so he just said, “You girls work it out, okay?”

So, I got through that class, and geometry, and we’re on an easy chapter, and in Art we had a sub so basically we just got to shoot the shit as long as we had a cray-pa or something in our hands and at least colored with them a little bit. Danny and Eli sat next to me and Cassie, and I had the feeling Danny was really actually impressed with my sketch of Cassie pretending to scream, with a dark moving swirl like it was her black thoughts coming out of her vocal chords almost, and I made her hair look even crazier than mine was this morning. He said it reminded him of a 21st century Munchian scream, and I think I kind of blushed, and Eli said, “What? A munchkin screaming?” and Cassie threw her bangs back and said, “Hey, I am NO munchkin,” and we all started laughing. Then when the bell rang Danny kept looking at me, I mean he really looked at me, like suddenly he was realizing who I was, and like that was okay with him.

I went to my locker before lunch to put my Math and Science books away, thinking I’d find Gretchen before I got in line and then get some nachos or something, and I was minding my business just thinking stuff and when I turned around, there was Mr. Brisby, like he was stalking me or something, huffing about, “Ms. Chesterton, you owe me two detentions this week! That’s eight tardies in less than a month!” Well, sometimes it’s hard to get done in the bathroom when you only have four minutes between classes, especially if it’s that time of month, and I’m hardly going to give up the only time I have to see my friends, so whatever. Except Mom is going to bitch at me about it and I really don’t even want to talk about it.

So, but I found Gretchen, getting there from her auto tech class the same time I did, and we got in line and she started to tell me about her boyfriend’s latest tattoo. It is apparently a really fine Shinto fox, which normally I would be all excited about for her, so I tried to be, but up ahead of us in line I had just realized that was Danny and Sara Newman passing these disgustingly sweet little kisses back and forth, and then getting the last plate of nachos together, and my stomach just gave a little lurch at that, so I said, “Listen, Gretch, I’m sorry but I’ve got to get out of here.” So I didn’t get lunch either, and then when I got to Mrs. Frazier’s class I realized I’d left my paragraphs on “Ode to a Grecian Urn” at home on my desk, after working on them for almost half an hour last night, before I played WOW until 2 or something like that, and that douche who’s probably from Cincinnati or some hell-hole like that kept stalking me with his Panderan Monk, I mean, get a life, really? So I sat next to Cassie and started to tell her, “Man, except for Art, I’ve been having a really bad day,” and just as I was starting to tell her why, Frazier came straight to us and asked for the homework and then when neither of us had it said, “I think I better have you two sit separately today. Liz, you bring your books up to the first row here.

And I don’t know, I think it’s just kinda the tone of her voice that gets to me, like she’s too haughty for us or she thinks we’re just utter and complete slacker idiots or something, or maybe because she didn’t even ask nicely or give us another chance. But Bam, I just picked up my pencil and threw it hard as I could right at her, and she deserved it, although luckily I didn’t get her in the face or anything; you know she did have sense enough to get out of the way. And I think I said something, I don’t know, like called her an idiot or something, or maybe actually I said “Fuck you,” I can’t remember, but that’s what Frazier told Brisby I said. And then Brisby went up and asked Cassie if that’s what I’d said, because he doesn’t like Frazier either, so he thought he’d give me a pass, and I guess Cassie must’ve just blurted it out that I did, and I’ll try not to blame her for that, because sometimes she is just a bimbo and doesn’t think, but it’s kind of because of her that I’m in this position, too.

So, I don’t know if I’m going to be here tomorrow, because I think he let me off the hook last time a little something came out of my mouth, and now there’s that pencil I threw at Frazier, and at least Cassie didn’t say anything about that. I don’t know if Mrs. Frazier will say I was trying to put her eye out or something, and I was just starting to get good at geometry again after being sick that week right before Christmas, and boy, was that Christmas a disaster. I don’t know, maybe I could use a little break from this place anyway. It’s too long ’til spring break, and if I have to keep going through this kind of crap every day just to get a high school diploma, you’re going to see me screaming and throwing a lot more stuff than you did today.


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